Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am in distress;
my eye is wasted from grief;
my soul and my body also. Psalm 31:9

This is my first post in quite some time. The principal reason for the time not spent is the sudden, unexpected death of my wife Emily on June nineteenth of this year. I expected Emily to come home from the hospital a few days after she went in that Saturday. Instead, she went home to her Lord.  It has been one hundred and twenty-eight days. One of the last things my wife said was just a few hours before she lost conciousness for the last time. In the emergency room, room 12 I think, she was barely able to breathe and yet she said “My God is sovereign. He knew I would be sick before I was born. It’s going to be o.k. ” The sovereign goodness of God was something that Em believed in firmly, was convinced of certainly through His word and something she lived joyfully in the light of.

I love the Lord and I know that He is good and that he is sovereign. I don’t believe it all the time as much as other times, But I have never been more convinced of it, despite my sinful self, than when He chose to end my wife’s hard struggle to reach for his hand. I would never have been brave enough to let her go, and she was of too strong a love and will to choose to go. So, Jesus lovingly did what neither of us could.

I miss her, very much.

I can offer no words of comfort, no magic Christian formula, for those who grieve this moment. Only this truth:

But, though he cause grief, he will have compassion
according to the abundance of his steadfast love-Lamentations 3:32


~ by secondaryreformation on October 24, 2010.

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